The loss of a baby is a difficult, painful experience. Suddenly, dreams are shattered and plans must be changed. Though each person responds to loss differently, the need for support and understanding during this time is universal. Sharing feelings, grieving, making unexpected decisions are a necessary part of the healing process.

The time of loss is often lonely and stressful. A woman, in particular, may feel an emptiness in her body and in her arms. Drawing on the strength and support of those closest to her is important. It is also important that a woman take good care of herself physically and trust in her own judgement.

If you have experienced the loss of a baby, believe that you can and will heal, but do not place unrealistic demands on yourself or have unrealistic expectations.

It is important to know that you may experience a wide range of emotions following your loss. You may feel unreal, as though you are watching yourself in a movie. You may be tentative. Your feelings may take you on a rollercoaster ride of conflicting, changing emotions.These reactions are typical of this type of loss. In addition, the following feelings are also normal:

• Shock and disbelief
• Numbness and heaviness
• Feeling overwhelmed
• Feeling cheated
• Intense sorrow and grief
• Vulnerability and defenselessness
• Feeling out of control or crazy
• Relief
• Anger
• Fatigue and/or depression

If, after several weeks distressing feelings or symptoms persist, bereavement counseling or a support group may be helpful.

Through its Department of Social Work, North Shore University Hospital offers eight-session bereavement support groups for women and couples following miscarriage, stillbirth or early neonatal death. These groups address the process and stages of grieving in a safe and supportive atmosphere by focusing on individual responses, reactions of family and friends and plans for the future. Individual short-term crisis counseling and volunteer peer outreach services are available as well. The North Shore University Hospital Bereavement Support Program can help you cope with your loss by providing you with the freedom to grive in an environment that can promote healing and ease your pain and sorrow.